Love Story

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Crabby Mom

I have to confess that I have been one crabby mom today. Short tempered, not very patient, and just plain grumpy. I begin to feel guilty about it halfway through the day and then quickly felt justified as I remembered that I had been up since 5 am. Surely someone who had to get up that early has every right to be crabby, right?

And then it hit me. That nagging feeling that I knew was about to stir things up and remind of something I needed to work on. That feeling was quickly followed by the thought "Jeremy gets up every day at 5 am to work. When he comes home crabby you don't let his wake up time excuse him from that kind of attitude." Aww, man...busted.

The truth is grumpiness is one of the number one things that I get on Jeremy about. I can't stand it when he is in a bad mood and I usually don't cut him much any slack. As I am battling with letting lack of sleep get the best of me, I am hoping that that is good enough reason not to give my best. Shouldn't I allow that in him as well? "But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ's gift."(Ephesians 4:7) It is that same grace that Christ has freely given me that I should freely bestow upon my husband.

 And if I am so quick to find that attribute frustrating in him, shouldn't I find it unacceptable in myself as well?
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." (Matthew 7:3-5)  I hate when that plank in my eye gets in the way of me seeing things how they really are!

Now to get past my pride and apologize to my husband for my hypocritical behavior. Not because he will know the difference, but because I will. Fixing it in myself is a huge step but taking it one step further and owning up to my mistake is the real key to growth and peace. Lucky for me I have a husband who is full of grace and mercy and will certainly give my his forgiveness without a second thought.

Sometimes I wish that the tapping on my shoulder, whisper in my ear, tightening of my heart didn't happen. Then I could go about my day merrily without having to change my way of thinking or acting. I wouldn't have to ask for forgiveness for what I've done. But then I remember that those feelings are from God and they help me to walk the way He wants me to. Lord knows I would be lost without the guidance! So for that, I am thankful.

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