Holding back

Do you ever find yourself holding back? What about when it comes to an area in your life where you could be blessed....do you ever hold back then?

As I sat down earlier this evening to read my study for women's group tomorrow, I found myself blessed and filled up by the contents of Ruth. Yet it forced me to stop and really evaluate myself and the way I have been doing things. Take this study for instance - every week when I read through my study book and the Bible I gain so much from it. In fact, it is usually spilling out of me which is why I have to come immediately here to share it. Yet week after week when the initial blessing I receive from the word "wears off", I go right back to choosing laziness. I could be reading every night taking it in a little at a time and really letting it wash over me, spill into my day and my week. But instead I put it off, sometimes cramming it all in the night before. Do you think I am able to really soak that all in the same way I would had I spread it out over the week? I doubt it. I am holding myself back from receiving the full blessing I could be getting out of this study.

Every time I skip my devotional time, don't go to church, don't participate in one of my small groups, I miss the chance to be blessed. What about those times I feel the urge to call someone I haven't talked to in awhile just to check on them but brush it off? When that tug to help out a stranger who looks like they are struggling nags at me but I just assume some one else will do it? Or when that overwhelming urge to stop whatever I am doing to pray over someone hits but I don't act on it because I am intimidated or embarrassed? In these instances I am not only missing out on the blessings God wants to pour out on me, but also holding back the other person from receiving a blessing from God through me.

I don't want to miss any piece of what God has to give me. And I certainly don't want to get in the way of another person's opportunity to be blessed. My prayer today is that I give God every thing I have, every piece of my life. That I never hold back. I am so thankful that He never holds back when it comes to loving me and showing me grace and mercy. He gave his all, gave the life of his son so that we could know him and receive his blessings. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) What a gift!