Love Story

Monday, January 24, 2011

A Heart That Loves

I have been meaning to come back to write about last weeks study from the book A Woman After God's Own Heart but alas life has been busy and more time has passed then I intended. I last talked about the kind of wife I want to be and am wanting to continue to share the things revealed to me while reading this book and spending time with other women who are on this journey with me. 

The two chapters we covered last week were called A Heart That Loves Part 1 and Part 2. So far these were my favorite chapters in the book. Author Elizabeth George first talks about deciding to make your husband your number one priority. This really struck home with me. I think that it is so easy at times to take for granted our husbands and put our efforts towards other relationships. Or worse yet, choose the advice, comfort or company of someone else over that of our husbands. Genesis 2:24 talks about how we are to leave our parents and cleave to our mate. Our husband should be our number one priority after God and the way we spend our time should reflect that.

We are also called to choose our husbands over all other human relationships. Including our children. I know this can sometimes be hard for a mother to grasp, especially when you have young children. The drive to nurture and care for these little people who are a part of us can sometimes out shadow the feeling to care for and love on our husbands. It is important to remember that these children wouldn't even exist without the relationship that first occurred between your husband and yourself. And one day when all the children are gone, you will find yourself in that place where you started. Just you and him. How foolish of us to neglect this important relationship that will continue on well past our child raising years!

Here is the part that made me fall in love with these two chapters. She lays out "nine tried-and-true ways to groom yourself in the fine art of showering your husband with friendship love." Doesn't get much easier than that! Okay, living it out can sometimes be hard but having this reminder sure does help:

1. Pray for Your Husband Daily - It is so important that we are lifting our spouse up in prayer. From his relationship with God, to his job, to his ministry involvements. Make this a priority. This goes for those of you with husbands who aren't Christians as well. God's role is to save your husband and your role is to pray fervently as you continue to love him and serve him. I love her point also that as you invest your time in praying for your husband you will notice your heart warming to him. It is really hard to be mad at someone you are praying for!

2. Plan For Your Husband Daily - To be that supportive wife God wants us to be, we must make a plan each day to do so. From planning special deeds of kindness to planning special dinners it is important that we consider our husbands needs and make an effort to meet them when possible. Last week I decided I would lighten Jeremy's load by running out all the trash and changing the cat litter so he wouldn't have to do it when he got home. He noticed right away and really appreciated what I had done for him which made me feel good as well!
For those of us with children it is important to plan time alone. This may look different depending on what stage your children are at, but it is important nonetheless. I know that for us, we make it a priority to put the kids to bed early each night so that we have those nighttime hours to talk uninterrupted. Sometimes we use this time to have a romantic candlelit dinner or we do something simple like sprawling on the floor with sushi while watching Netflix. Whatever it is, it is our time to stay connected.
Lastly, make a plan to go to bed at the same time. Schedules don't always allow this but when at all possible make an effort to adjust your schedule to your husbands. This will help strengthen you as a team, give you more opportunities to send him off in the morning and keep your family on schedule as well as nurture physical love in your marriage.

Steps 3 - 9 to be continued....


  1. Thank you for these posts, Chrystal! This has been on my heart lately. I look forward to 3-9! When raising young children it really is hard to put your main focus on your husband... at least for me. I REALLY need to start focusing on this more.

  2. I am glad you enjoyed this Tatum. It sure has spoken to me as well. I think especially when children enter the picture and your attention is being divided it is necessary to be reminded that our husband really is our number one human priority. Hope you enjoy the follow up post:)


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