Be Careful What You Ask For!!

There is a long standing joke amongst many of my Christian friends when it comes to asking the Lord for patience. When it comes time for prayer requests and somebody asks that we pray for patience, one of two things happens, people either laugh or just shake their heads. This may sound insensitive but really it is out of love. Anyone who has been there before knows that if you ask God for patience he is not going to wave his hands and BAM you instantly feel more patient. Instead, he is going to present you with opportunity after opportunity to practice patience. That is a hard way to go about it and therefore we try to guide those who have yet to experience this so that they don't have to find out the hard way.

Somebody should have warned me that this applies to other areas as well. I am referring specifically to this fast (if you missed that post, catch up here). I naively went into it thinking, "This will be great, I will ask God to give me clarity and vision for what He wants me to be doing in my life." Can I just say, stupid? Okay, not really, but stay with me here. Let me just say that I am really getting what I asked for. God is showing me exactly what I need to learn. And that isn't necessarily easy!!

I still need time to process most of this before I can fully share what God is working on and revealing to me. But I will say that I have more time than I thought for that to happen. Yesterday proved to be more difficult than I thought it would be. I was all mopey about not getting to celebrate Mother's Day right and so I gave in to that feeling and convinced Jeremy to take us all to coffee and muffins before church. Before you ask what the crime is there, neither of those things are allowed on this fast. (Here is the does and don'ts of what I can eat: Daniel Fast Food List). I know, shame on me I couldn't even make it two whole days. But we did jump right back into it after that. That is until a extended family crisis of sorts came up (don't worry, everyone is okay). In reaction to that we decided to love on said family members by driving to their house with dinner...a non-fast approved dinner I might add. Okay, so now the day was officially blown.

Now normally, I would just throw in the towel. Obviously I had failed and there was just no point in continuing. This is where I am so thankful for my husband. Where I am weak he is strong and he convinced me that we needed to do this right so together we made the decision to restart our 10 days today. And you want to know the cool thing? God has used this little blip to remind me that even in our failure he gives us grace and that we should do the same for ourselves. You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 2:1) I was also reminded that in our weakness God reveals himself and uses us if we are open. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10) Yesterday reminded me of the unhealthy role that food plays in my life. It is how I celebrate, how I fellowship, how I comfort myself and others. Shouldn't that role in my life be reserved for God?

In a way, I am glad that we got the chance to start over. Already God has changed my perspective as I enter into this fast a second time. I cannot make it about the food, that is just symbolic of the sacrifice I should be willing to make to get closer to God. After all, Christ made the ultimate sacrifice for me. I am now ready to glean from this experience exactly what God wants me to. Hold on to your seats ladies and gentlemen, it may be a bumpy ride!

My morning without coffee

I start this morning bright and early and although it was not by choice, I am actually glad to be up. Jeremy and I are starting a 10 day version of The Daniel Fast today. I will go into that more over the next few days but for those of you who want more information this is a good place to start: http://daniel-fast.com/about.html

As part of this fast we are only drinking water for the next 10 days. For any of you who know me personally or have been following my blog for any amount of time, you know that I love me some coffee. No, I mean I really love me some coffee. Despite that fact that the majority of what we are used to eating is not included in this fast, I am most concerned about giving up the coffee. That's saying a lot because this girl also loves her food! So for a few days now I have really been focused on the fact that I couldn't drink coffee for the next week and a half.

Leave it to God, he has me facing that obstacle head on first thing this morning. Isaiah was up at 5:00am and my first thought was, "Really? This morning of all mornings? But I can't even have my coffee!" Are you imagining this in a whiny, early morning voice? Good, because even though it was in my head it was still awfully whiny. So I stumbled into the kitchen, warmed up a bottle, changed his britches, and sat with him in the quiet of his room feeding him a bottle. As my mind wandered back to the injustice of this early morning waking (did I mention the coffee?), God reminded me what this was all about. Rely on me. Let me be your strength. Don't lean on other things, I am all you need.

This is exactly why I am doing this fast to begin with. Coffee and food are just two areas of my life where I often turn for strength or comfort. I need this jarring reminder that God is all I need. You want to know the other blessing in this early morning? While Isaiah went right back to sleep I was left wide awake. That would normally irritate me but this morning I took advantage of a quiet house and spent some time in my Bible. Let me leave you with this: "Blessed are those whose strength is in you..." Psalm 84:5. The notes in my Bible say blessed are those who have come to know the Lord as their deliverer and sustainer. I will stand firm and pray on that today for I know that it is true.