Love Story

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Motherhood is a curse

Yup, you read that right. I said motherhood is a curse. Shocked? Did you expect that sentence to end on a more positive note - like say, with a word like blessing? If you know me, you know that I believe that. That motherhood is a blessing. It is an amazing gift and one I am fortunate to have experienced 5 times over. And having experienced it I can also confidently say that my first statement is also accurate. Motherhood IS a curse. It also causes you to curse..but I digress.

I can give you some pretty solid reasons why I think this to be true but let's just go straight to the source. Genesis 3:16 says, "To the woman he said,"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children.Your desire will be for your husband,and he will rule over you." God told us that our curse for disobeying Him by eating from the tree of knowledge would be pain during childbirth. And what is a result of childbirth? Children. And motherhood. While all great sources of joy they can also be great sources of pain. And the kicker is that God designed it that way. At first it's enough to make you shake your fist toward the heavens but when you stop and spend some time looking into it more, it makes sense and I am quickly reminded why God is God and I am not.

Let's look at a man's part of this curse - he is cursed with laboring the land. What was once supposed to be a haven, a place for man to rest and be fulfilled became a constant source of turmoil and back breaking work after Adam disobeyed God. They must work to eat, work to live, work to provide for their families. Men are to faithfully and obediently serve God through their work. In that same way, we as mothers are afflicted by bearing children. The misery of pregnancy, the threat of miscarriage, the agony of birth and all of the tribulations of child rearing. It's enough to make you wonder why we bother! We bother because it is one way to faithfully and obediently serve God.

I don't know about the rest of you but I know I have learned so much since having my children. It revealed things to me I couldn't have seen without first becoming a mother. It has given me so much insight on my own parents. My relationship with my kids has also given me a glimpse of who God is and how He feels about us. It made me look harder at myself and taught me so much about what I want in this life and what is truly important. It also points a big fat blinking light-up sign at all my insecurities and weaknesses. I have never felt so incompetent in my life! But through that weakness and insecurity I have been forced to lean not on my own understanding but to instead trust God in everything. To let Him come through for my children where I cannot. It's not easy (hence the pain part of it all!) to realize I am not ultimately in control, and that I don't have all the answers, that they aren't even mine to try to control in the first place.

It is hard work. I would say harder than laboring the land, but these kinds of discussions can start World War 3 (at least in our house) so I will keep from comparing the two. It requires dying to self in so many ways. Truly a curse! But within that curse is the opportunity for so much blessing. When we choose to live out motherhood in a way that glorifies God we not only receive His blessings in our own lives, but we have the opportunity to spill that over into our kids' lives as well. What an awesome responsibility! One that can easily become a chore if I don't remind myself of what it's really all about. Lately I have needed that reminder which is why I think God planted the seed for this post. Maybe someone reading this needed that reminder too. I think that one of the devil's greatest tools is isolation. He makes us feel as if we are the only one struggling in this particular way and this can leave you feeling lonely, ashamed, and unworthy. What a lie! If this is speaking to you, know that you aren't alone and that it isn't all for waste. There is a purpose in what you do and it is not supposed to be easy on our own. I encourage you to form relationships with other moms where you can be encouraged and supported on your journey. I also encourage you to give the burden over to God and let him carry it for you. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 11:29-30, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Motherhood is a curse but it is also a huge blessing and my prayer is that you can see the blessing in it today.


  1. You're a wonderful writer Chrystal. Thank you for sharing from your heart, from one mom to another. Wise words! :)

  2. Aw, thanks Kelly! That means a lot coming from you :)


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