Inner battle

I think the worst kind of battle to fight is one within yourself. Those moments when your inner voice is screaming so loud you can't hear anything else. When what you feel takes over and the ability to discern what is true becomes blurry at best. Do you have moments like that? I do. Luckily as I get older they seem to be fewer and further between. But when the moment is present it feels powerful and in turn I feel completely powerless. Wrestling with a flight, fight, run, hide, scream, cry mix of emotions that threaten to take over the peace I normally rest in. What do you do when you feel this way?

Me, I turn to those I love and trust. To those who make me feel secure and who will hold me tight and tell me everything will be okay. Mostly my husband, my mom, my Jesus. I talk until I have no more words to express what I am feeling. I dive into things that will make me feel better and for a time remove me from the moment...quality time with my kids, baking, and crafting all do the trick. I pour over scripture. Letting the living word sweep over me, penetrate me, work in me. The latter is really my most powerful weapon against myself. When truth feels lost, I can find it in the one place it will always be. In the word.

"When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul." (ESV Psalm 94:19)

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (NIV John 14:27)