The family that cooks together...

If you have been following my blog for awhile you know that I have been enlisting my kids help in the kitchen lately. From meal planning, to grocery shopping to cooking the actual meal. It has been such a positive experience in our house that I think I could go on and on about the benefits. I will say that what I love the most is that I get to spend some quality time with my boys.

Tonight it was Nathan's turn to be my sous chef again so we prepared oven-fried chicken strips. I thought this would be a great meal for him to make because he absolutely LOVES chicken strips. I was uncertain whether or not he would participate in handling the raw chicken in order to bread it (you remember how the spaghetti and meatball dinner went!), but he dove right in and did a great job. The best part was that I had the opportunity to talk to him about the value of making our own favorite foods at home from scratch. I explained that when we make it at home we get to choose exactly what goes in our food so that we know it is healthy. I went on to tell him that while having these things once in awhile when out to eat or prepackaged from the store is okay, it is so much better to make it yourself. And it saves us money which is a bonus!

Alongside the little lessons that are being taught in the kitchen I feel we are also creating the opportunity for natural conversations to take place. I think some of the most important life lessons we teach are children are in these moments when we are just doing life together. I can only hope this transfers into their teenage years when I know it will be impossible more difficult to get them to open up. I like to envision a time later on where my tall, sweaty, squeaky-voiced boys are in the kitchen preparing something hearty and big enough to feed an army, all the while filling me in on what's new in school and sports and life. Maybe it won't happen that way (a mom can dream, right?) but I would like to believe that we are making it a possibility by being available.

What everyday moments are you finding yourself including your kids in? Do you feel like it helps set the stage for you to continue a close relationship down the road? I would love to hear what it looks like in your house so feel free to share a story.

Unwholesome talk

The interesting thing about writing a blog about your life is that it is so easy to pinpoint what is going on in each season based on the reoccurring themes in your posts. What's going on in my life right now? Parenting issues! So lucky you, you are along for the ride as my blog focuses on this very thing. Your welcome:)

These past few weeks I have found myself having to really pay attention to what my children are watching on television. Not to say we weren't doing that to begin with, but now it is on a different level. About two weeks ago I heard my little 3 year old start calling his brother an idiot. While not the worst word in the world, I certainly don't want to hear it coming out of my children's mouths. Especially to insult someone else. It didn't take me long to figure out that the role model for this behavior came from their new favorite movie Toy Story 3. Needless to say after several reminders not to use that word it came down to taking the movie away for awhile. Unfortunately, that hasn't done much to curb it. Jordan has realized that he has found a way to ruffle some feathers and still smirks every time he says it. This doesn't surprise me as it is his personality to take joy in doing something he shouldn't. And in line with his personality, Nathan began copying this behavior because Jordan was having so much fun with it. You would think being the older brother he wouldn't fall prey to this, but he is a follower to a fault. Now name calling is a favorite past-time it seems. I was finding myself at a loss for how to deal with this until today.

A friend of a friend posted on Facebook that they used Ephesians 4 to discuss unwholesome talk with their kids. BINGO! I am really striving to raise my kids to choose to live as Jesus did and I want to set strong examples for them that are built upon the teachings in the Bible. This was an excellent chance to do just that. So after a car ride home from dinner tonight filled with various names going back and forth (mostly silly stuff but annoying nonetheless) we decided that we would substitute bedtime stories with some time in the Bible. I sat them both down, one on each side and begin to read through Ephesians 4:17-32. We stopped after each verse so that I could explain what it was saying in a way they would understand. I focused heavily on verse 29 which reads (from the NIV): "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." We talked about examples of unwholesome talk (Jordan's favorite part of the whole thing) and how saying those things would make others feel bad about themselves and that we are to only say things that would make others feel good about themselves. This is definitely going to be a conversation we continue over time. After all, they are 3 and 4 and repetition seems to be as necessary as water and breathing at this age. But I am pleased with how the discussion went and hope they took something from it.  

This also comes at a time when I have been feeling convicted that as a family we should be taking a break from tv all together for awhile. I will write more about this in a later post but it is just confirmation that this is an area we need to be diligent in when it comes to parenting. May not win us any popularity contests with our kids, but I can live with that!

Put away, throw away, give away

I have been blogging lately about trying to get organized in my life. While I have backslid a little in some of the daily cleaning habits I had developed, I am overall still on track. I feel like the definite success has been in looking at our life as a whole and deciding where overhauls need to happen. About two weeks ago my husband mentioned wanting to make our time more intentional. This turned into one of those all night discussions where we made big plans and went to sleep feeling totally satisfied with all we had agreed upon. The big points revolve around us making the most of our family time. We have been setting a not so good example for our children of indulging our whims and putting off the "have to or should do" stuff. We decided that a work before play mandate needed to be set for our household. The best way that we thought of to make our time more intentional was to sit down once a week and map out the following week. We plan a few projects, some for the grown-ups and some for the whole family to do together. Family work projects are always followed by something fun (park, board game, etc) to motivate us to get it done. We also plan one night for us to spend time together, not that we don't spend most every night together, but again this being intentional time spent together. Along with all of this we are trying to curb our bad habit of blowing off previously thought up dinner plans to eat out. I meal plan and always have a weeks worth of meals in the house but we tend to indulge our lazy/gluttonous side by eating out and wasting food we already have and money we don't have. So we are trying to make new habits there. Oh yes, and our daily twice daily Starbucks runs had to go as well so we are once again doing the at home coffee thing. When your 3 year old can recite daddy's Iced Venti Quad Skinny Caramel Latte, you know you make coffee runs too often!

Our family work project today was to tackle Nathan and Jordan's room which looked like Hurricane Katrina had her way with it. And for all you could tell by looking at it, it had been a good 5 years since I tidied up in there because it was truly a mess. We had told the boys the game plan for the day and at lunch we explained how the clean up was going to go. We were going to be putting stuff where it belonged, throwing away the broken toys and giving the stuff they don't play with anymore to Goodwill. That of course elicited the "you are giving our stuff away??!!" response which led to a teachable moment (elementary ed major here....LOVES the teachable moment:). We took this time to talk to them about how fortunate we are and that other families aren't as lucky as us to have so much stuff. We explained to them how we are to live like Jesus and that He gave everything he had to others and that we needed to be willing to do the same. They were okay with that for the most part and the discussion continued on in a fairly productive manner. When it came time to actually put the first item in the give away box we asked Jordan to hug his Tickle Me Elmo and put him in the box so that another kid could have the chance to love him. He was such a big boy about it! Nathan followed in suit with the next item and before we knew it the room was tidy, the garbage bag was overflowing and we had some gently loved toys to pass on to the Goodwill. After that we were able to enjoy a few hours at a park on the river and it felt good knowing we had earned it. It felt even better knowing that we had passed on some valuable life lessons to our kids in the process.

They were right...life ISN'T fair!!

The older I get and the more children I have, the more I realize that my parents were right. About most everything! If only I would have really listened to them then. It seems like when you are at the age to absorb and make use of the words of wisdom older people impart on you, you are completely incapable of doing it. I already think of all the things I am going to tell my children to make their lives easier, knowing all the while that they won't listen until they have learned it for themselves. So goes the circle of life!

I was thinking today about how once you become a mom life changes in so many more ways then anyone tells you. Well, had I listened to my mom while growing up I would know, but as previously mentioned I was incapable with my stupid teenage mind. So it all feels like brand new to me. Like, I knew I wouldn't get much sleep, my time wouldn't be my own, my priorities would change. This I knew going into it. I didn't fully get it, but I knew. What I didn't really realize is that as a mom, and a wife actually, you lose the ability to give in to whatever you are feeling. Sure some moms do, but I'm talking about if you actually want things to go smoothly.

For example: lately I have not been able to sleep through an entire night. I would say in the last 6 weeks I slept completely through the night once. A big contributing factor is that I am now 22 weeks pregnant and having to pee several times. But another factor is my children. My 2 year old has taken to waking up crying once or twice in the middle of the night and requiring my attention. Then my 3 year old is up by 5:45 like clockwork each day. Now he gets brother up too and they cause all kinds of nonsense so I can't really sleep too soundly once they are up. Anyone who has gone for periods of time with low quality sleep knows that it begins to wear on you. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I am at the point where I get up in the morning and want to cry because I am so tired. Then I am faced with whatever mess my children have already made at that early hour. The day continues with two little people demanding constant attention usually communicating this by whining and flailing themselves around like a fish out of water (what is that about anyway?). Not only that but this tired cranky combination makes it hard to find any motivation to get the stuff around the house done like I should. So guilt starts to creep in. I feel like a crazy mess!

This brings me to the part of not being able to give into your feelings if you want the household to go smoothly. See my brain tells me "these children are the reason you are so tired and cranky, of course you are going to be a little more short with them then usual, of course housework can wait when you feel like a walking zombie." In my mind I know I am justified. My kids act in whatever manner suits their current emotional state. For that matter, so does my husband. But if I do, if I give in to that urge to act in the way I feel like I should, things would fall apart. As these last few days have gotten the best of me I see my children start to fall apart too. My crankiness has warn off on them and they are beginning to whine and fight on a nearly constant basis. And neglecting housework only means there is more for me to face tomorrow, which makes me even crankier. So the only real solution is to suck it up. To dig down deep and find that patience with my children that makes the day go smoothly and allows me to be around them without wanting to strangle them. To trudge through the housework, even if at a slower pace, so that it doesn't become unbearable at the end of the week. This way of thinking, this is not me. Not the me I grew up being. This is the mom in me. Because you see as soon as those little people entered the world they took a piece of me with them. The piece that is allowed to act on whatever I am feeling. That was replaced with a never ending quest to make life peaceful at all costs.  It may not be fair, but it's life. My life anyway. And as I have come to realize now that I am actually capable of listening, this is the life my mom and many other moms know too.

In a way it makes me proud. I have joined the club...that club that most women become a part of. I guess the true triumph will be when I learn to do it happily and not out of obligation. The ultimate goal is to not let it make me bitter but to let it make me stronger. I also hold onto the hope that one day it will all be worth it and I will hear my children say, "you were so right!" and "now I get it!".  I have a feeling that with all boys this day may not come as soon as it would with girls. Men always take longer to get it. But still I will pray that it comes!

Things I learned from my kids today

#1. Something as simple as removing the sink plug from the kids bathroom could have prevented something as major as waking up to a flooded bathroom, hall and linen closet.
#2. Installing child locks on cabinets is not enough, you must make sure said locks are TIGHTLY installed. The slightest wiggle room and they can in fact let little people into places you don't want them.
#3. It is not enough to buy non-chemical cleaners, you also need to make sure you have gotten rid of any stray chemical cleaning bottles.
#4. Leaving the cleaning nozzle on spray may make it convenient for quick future use but it also makes it convenient for curious toddlers to taste said cleaning supplies.

Fortunately, this all sounds much worse than it ended up being. Although in the moment I was dealing with it all it felt pretty massive. I woke up this morning to quiet in my house. Of course to the untrained ear that seems like the perfect way to wake up. But to the mom of 2 and 3 year old boys whom you know have been awake for awhile, this lack of sound is immediately disturbing. I came out of my bedroom to find that my kids were no where in sight, but to hear the bathroom faucet running. Upon approaching the bathroom I see the door is closed. In those next few seconds I became a crazy lady. I open the door to take in the sight of the sink plugged up, full, and flowing onto the floor. I notice that not only is the entire floor covered but water is running down the vent. I see both my boys wading in the water completely soaked and then my eyes land specifically on Jordan. My 2 year old is holding a Lysol bathroom cleaner bottle. I was panicking and yelling and the boys most of known it was serious because they both broke down crying. I started sniffing their mouths and sure enough Jordan smelled like Lysol.

I then quickly called my husband, who had our only working car at work. Luckily he only works 5 minutes away and was home before I knew it. By that time I had the boys in dry clothes. Jeremy acted quickly calling the number on the back of the Lysol bottle only to get the response, "I don't know if it will hurt him, I am not a doctor" from the obviously untrained person on the other line. Hubby then decided it was best to just take him to the urgent care so he packed up Jordan and the cleaning bottle and took off. 12 towels later I had the entire bathroom dried and upon realizing it had gotten into the linen closet and the carpet in the hall, had that taken care of too. Fortunately Jeremy and Jordan were back home within 45 minutes. The nurse practitioner was quite kind and was pretty sure he hadn't ingested much and would be fine. She even called the company herself to complain since they didn't have the information on hand when we called.

Now that it is all said and done I am able to just shake my head about it. But I know we are lucky that there wasn't more damage done, specifically to Jordan. It is crazy because I really thought we had all precautions in place but even that could not deter my kids from finding their way into trouble. I have a feeling this is the beginning of a long road of craziness brought on by my children. Especially since we are expecting our 3rd son in late May/early June. Start praying for this momma now, I have a feeling I am going to need it!