A Party in Heaven

I believe there is a birthday party going on in Heaven today. Oh how I wish I could attend. Just for one moment see your face, hold you tight, tell you how much I love you. Of course more than anything I would rather be having a party for you here. We could be excitedly phoning our friends and loved ones to tell them that you had finally arrived. Dozens of pictures being snapped as you take your first breath, meet your brothers for the first time, get passed around joyfully between people who are already full of love for you. Listen to your first cries...those beautiful baby cries that sound like nothing else on earth. Smell your head....oh that new baby smell is the best thing ever, especially when it is your new baby. Start to adjust to life as a family of 6.

Instead we can only imagine these things, mourn these things, just as we have done for several months now. For this was not the path laid out for you. For us. You had a different purpose in this life, one much bigger than the plans we made. It hurts. Hurt doesn't even begin to describe it. But we work each day to replace that hurt with hope. With understanding. With a realization that you are still here, if only in our hearts. We celebrate for you because you never have to know the pain of this world. You have gotten to strictly live a life of joy and peace with your Heavenly Father. How blessed are you! And one day, we will be together. The 6 of us as we should be. Until then, watch over us, will you?

And today - today you celebrate. Celebrate this day that will always be your birthday to me, even if we don't get to spend it with you here on Earth. Happy Birthday Baby. We love you forever and always.

"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you." (Matthew 5:4 MSG)

1 + 1 = 6

That's right...to our surprise we will be adding a sixth and final member to our family! While this wasn't our plan, we know that God's plan is so much better than our own and trust in his timing and provision for this new little one. Big families are fun, right?

Here's how we announced to our friends and extended family:

Isn't this is going to make an adorable first picture for the baby book? And the process itself was quite memorable...it's not easy getting 3 little people to sit still. After lots of laughs, a few tears, some bribes and about 10 outtakes, it all came together. Precious:)

I had been dying to tell the kids from the very beginning....the night before we found out Nathan asked when I was going to get another baby in my tummy so I knew he would be excited. We waited until everything looked good at my first OB appointment and then gathered them up to tell them the good news. Want to see their reactions?

Again, such a great moment to have captured and I can't wait to show their future brother or sister just how loved they were from the beginning. And I can remind the newest addition how lucky they are that I didn't give big brothers free reign on picking a name! This morning Nathan said breakfast prayer and sweetly said, "Thank you God for putting a new baby in mommy's tummy and letting it come close to my birthday." How could I not be excited about a new little one when the ones I already have are so amazing?

For those of you who are wondering....yes, we would love a girl but honestly, a boy would probably just be easier. We already have this boy thing down and all the stuff to go with it. But ultimately, I trust whatever God has in store. He sure has planned my family better than I ever could have! Not everyone is so neutral about this subject though. Nathan is hoping God picks a sister for our family because as he puts it, "we don't have one of those!" Can't argue with that logic!