Nathan's 3!!!

Nathan hitting the pinata from Gma and Papa in Arizona.


The dessert...oreo dirt cake and brownies


All the kids checking out the presents.


Nathan in his birthday hat.



His "big" present, a tabletop train set.

I still cannot believe Nathan has turned 3! Where did the time go? I still remember what it was like to find out I was pregnant with him. Then learning it was a boy and going through all the joys of feeling him kick and seeing him grow. I remember just really wanting to know what he would look like. I will never forget that moment after they cleaned him up and set him on my chest. He just held onto my finger and stared into my eyes. Love at first sight. Ever since then he has continued to amaze me with the amount of love I feel for him. This little person who is so much like me, I feel like I have known him my whole life. Now he is becoming this big boy who likes to be so dependent but still needs me in many ways. He is starting to say the funniest things that leave us cracking up forever. Nathan is a typical big brother, spending half his time loving his brother and the other half picking on him. What a joy he has been in our life. I cannot wait to see what he becomes. I just pray that I can take him in as he is and enjoy each moment because as I have already experienced, it goes by too fast.

The party went great, he had lots of fun with family. We could barely tear him away from the train set we had given him earlier in the day but he enjoyed himself nonetheless. We had lots of good food, he was blessed with some fun gifts, and we even got to do a pinata thanks to gma PeePee and Papa PooPoo. We missed family and friends who couldn't attend but it was still a wonderful day of celebrating Nathan. Hope for many more just like it:)

I'm sure everyone feels this way once and awhile

Warning: Not my usual chipper self this morning so this is more of a vent then normal posts.

Just feeling like while I am blessed to be a stay at home mom, I can't help but wonder if it would be easier to work. I used to feel that way when they were babies because that was so hard. But now, it's not about the kids. I just feel like what I do is never enough. My house will never be clean enough. What I do will never REALLY count because it doesn't have monetary value. Yet it is a job that never stops. I never get a day off, I never get a raise for doing a good job. It is 24 hours a day and 365 days a year. And sometimes it feels hard. But I don't think people understand that. It is tiring to do something that feels worthwhile and hard but to others seems so easy. I know that the best thing I can do is realize it's worth for myself and make that enough. It's just hard some days to be the only one that feels that way. Oh well, this to shall pass!

The mother of 2 sons...

Having been a stay at home mom since my boys were born, I have always spent a ton of time with them. I know their language when no one else understands it and can anticipate most wants long before they enter even the boys' minds. But since Jeremy has been working some nights I have had to spend even longer days with them. I have to be honest, at first this did not thrill me. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death but a 1 and 2 year old for 12 hours is trying enough some days. Now I have to add dinner, bath and bedtime all by myself. So at the end of the first week of this I was pretty frayed and frazzled. But I realized that just like when I first started taking care of them all day when they were first born, this will only get easier. We will fall into a routine and while it will have it's rough moments, it will continue to get better. Part of that involves me choosing to not let stuff get to me. I can be pretty crabby by the time their bedtime roles around which is around the time they get that last burst of energy. It takes a conscious effort to keep my cool at that time of day. So tonight I just decided, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! I got down on the floor and wrestled and tickled till they were worn it. And I actually really enjoyed myself:) I found myself thinking, "This is what I imagined when I thought of what kind of mother I would be." Their peels of constant laughter tells me they enjoyed themselves too. Now daddy is normally the wrestling buddy but when they go a couple of days without getting much time with him, I think I can take on that role. When I thought of being a mother I always dreamed of having a little girl, someone to shop with and dress up and do quiet things with. When I became the mother of two boys I was given noisy, dirty, barely dressed at any given moment, keep you on your toes blessings that I wouldn't trade for the world. May not have been what I pictured but God knew so much better than I did!

"Boys are God's way of telling you that your house is too neat!"-- Author Unknown

Just one of those weeks

It has just been one of those weeks. I am STILL battling that darn cold I got from the boys. It is frustrating because I have really been wanting to get back into my exercise routine after slacking for a few weeks but not being able to breath makes it a little difficult. Plus the kids are still hanging on to their colds enough that I don't want to take them much of anywhere. So all of us stuck in the house just gets crazy after too long. Luckily, Jeremy's parents took them overnight this weekend and we were able to have an amazing time together. We went out to sushi (my favorite and a definite no go with the kids!) and finished up birthday shopping for Nathan. Jeremy took me to this chocolate place I have been dying to go to and that was fabulous as well. We slept in til 9:30 which may as well be the afternoon for me because I rarely sleep much past 7:00 with the kids here. We went to church, out to lunch and a movie before we got the kids again. A much needed break that has definitely recharged me in that area. I must say I did find myself preoccupied most the weekend after hearing tragic news that my sister had lost her baby at 34 and 1/2 weeks. Just such a hard thing to process. I feel so deeply for their family and all that they must be going through right now. And I feel pretty worthless because there isn't really anything I can do. Well, that's not entirely true. I have been praying like crazy for them and I guess that is one of the best things I can do. But doesn't always feel like much. So anyway, it has just been one of those exhausting weeks. Not all bad, but enough to make me ready to move on to a new week! Praying for healing of the sickness in our house, healing for broken-hearted family members, praying for more chances to spend alone time with my husband. Praying for my parents as they deal with my grandma while trying to continue their missionary work in Mexico. Good thing God is such a good listener, my list feels long right now.

We Are Called

Last night Jeremy and I attended a monthly service at our church called Catalyst, it's aimed to young adults 18-29. It was really great worship, the young adult pastor and his wife sing and having just come back from Creation they had some great new songs. They also have a guitarist and a bongo drum player which was cool. Anyway, then Ryan began his message about how powerful our words are. While that was an amazing message that has given me a lot to think about the thing I felt led to talk about today was something quick he mentioned about the church in general. Our church is quite large and so they rely heavily on small groups to keep people connected. They also use that as a way to prepare disciples. They believe that each Christian is called to minister. You may read that and be thinking, "I'm not a pastor. I didn't go to Bible school. I don't want to be a missionary." But that's not what being a minister means. So often the picture of Christianity is one of two extremes. The Bible thumping evangelist who is damning everyone to hell or Joe Sunday who faithfully sits in his pew every Sunday and then goes about his life as usual. What we as Christians are really called to do is to live like Jesus. How did Jesus live his life? He served! He lead people by serving them. And being created in his image that is what we are called to do as well. Now you may be saying, "I don't have time to volunteer. I work too much. My kids are little I can't get out of the house." I don't think serving is always about going out of your way to sign up for activities, or devoting hours on end to a community project, or going to faraway places to find the most in need. Those are all things that definitely need to be done. But for most people, serving really involves your everyday life. How you interact with those around you. How you let Christ shine through all you do and say. I think the best way to get your heart and mind in a place of servitude is to first give yourself to God completely and secondly, surround yourself with opportunity. Don't just make church a Sunday morning event. Make church everyday. Surround yourselves with other Christians who can help strengthen your walk. Use the gifts you've been given to help out. I think the person working in the nursery is as much of a blessing as the pastor because without her, I wouldn't hear the message. What about the people making coffee? I think they are providing a much needed and appreciated service! This carries over to all areas of your life. I just encourage all who read this to pray about areas in your life where you can begin to serve. Keep your eyes open for opportunities you may have missed before. I believe your walk will be so much more fruitful and abundant when you begin to live this way. I know I need to take more action in my life.

One of the joys of motherhood

I remember when I was working at the Montessori preschool before I had kids and one little girl had come to school with a cold. As I was leaning over her to help her with a project she sneezed all over my arm. As I looked at the spray that covered my forearm, I was seriously disqusted! This is just one of the hazards of working with kids but not something I ever thought I would get used to. Then I had kids of my own. Now not only is one kid sneezing on me but usually two at the same time. Sneezes, juicy coughs in my face, snot rubbed on every surface of my clothing. And believe it or not, it barely grosses me out anymore. The only thing that bothers me is that I usually end up sick. It's no wonder really, the amount of sick germs hanging out in my general vicinity is pretty high at any given time. But I always come down with it just as they are getting better and their energy level is amping back up. So fun to hear the squeals of two toddlers when your head is pounding or have to chase them when your chest is restricted. Just another "joy" of motherhood!! That must be why all the good things are SO good...they help you overlook the yucky stuff.

Crazy Love

When Jeremy got home from work yesterday morning he told me he had been given mandatory overtime on Sunday. ARGHH! I was irritated because we had plans to go to church that morning and because I just wanted him home. Instead of sitting in my anger I just decided to get busy and rearrange our weekend plans to make it work. We are lucky enough to attend a huge church that has 5 services so we decided to attend last night instead. I am so glad we did...I think this was the service we were meant to be at.

Pastor Jim gave his first sermon in the series he titled Crazy Love. He talked about the love that God has for us. The kind of love that is not only willing to die for us but to live for us. To live in the form of Jesus who spent his time on earth as a servant so that we may truly know God's love. Love is so much more than a feeling, it is an action. We should love God back in a way that makes us look crazy to the world. Our worship to Him should be through transforming who we are and how we act in a way that lets Him shine through in all we do. I know that I feel humbled by a love I know I don't deserve but that God will never deny me.

Anyway, not only did the message really speak to me last night, but every other part of the service was moving as well. It was the most charged I had seen the church, lots of amens and clapping during the sermon which I always like because I know people are truly hearing what God is speaking for them. Worship was great as well and as we wrapped up the service with a few more worship songs, the pastor called us to truly worship from our hearts. That if we weren't singing because we were worried about what the people around us thought, our hearts weren't in the right place. After he said that the man behind us sang at a level where we could hear him for the first time all night and he had this amazing voice that just added to the beauty of the song.

I still don't like that Jeremy has to work on Sunday. But I love that God used that to bless us in another way. That was the service we were meant to be at and left to our own plans that wouldn't have happened. God is good in ways we sometimes don't understand and I am greatful to have seen and received His blessing in this instance.